mehhhhh

sometimes I drive myself crazy. Ok, ALL the time i drive myself crazy. Which is why I never blame people who dislike me. Ever. I know a lot of people who get truly annoyed when they realize other people dislike them, especially if there is no clear reason for it. I get it. This is not an "i hate me and so others can treat me badly" thing. It is just a "meh yeah that's ok" thing.

So I hate it when my mood changes rapidly back and forth. Some call this bi-polarity. I call it "being a girl." I also happen to be a girl with a very roller coaster kind of life. I wouldn't have it any other way, but it is a bit exhausting to constantly be flipping between suicidal and elated. Surprisingly, this crazyfaceness is SOOOOO much worse when I have nothing to do. If I have a project or a long list of things to do, I don't really notice so much how I feel. If I am "relaxing" as I have been doing over break, every little thing causes major emotional waves.

Today, I began to feel the stress of the new semester. I have a hundred things to do and places to be and NO idea how I will have time for any of it. And you know what? This made me very very happy. Despite the fact that I should actually be sad right now based on a couple rather unfortunate things in my life, I am SOOO thrilled with life.

I'm a bitch
I'm a lover
I'm a child
I'm a mother
I'm a sinner
I'm a saint

MY THEME SONG. at least for today