True Story

So we all know how much I complain about my job. Last night, while I was registering kiddies for swim lessons, I was sitting there thinking "ya know, I don't hate my job so much. I love swimming, water, and I love sharing my aquatic knowledge with the world." Then this morning happened...

I approached the door of the clubhouse to my final pool of the morning. Sitting directly in the middle of the path to the door was a decapitated, bloody squirrel carcass. The head was no where around, and since it is virtually impossible to kill and decapitate a squirrel in that location (you need a car, a skateboard, a guillotine maybe), one can only assume it was placed there. On purpose. Directly in front of the only entrace to the facility.

I cannot even describe the gross factor here - we've all driven by roadkill at some point or other and seen dead animals with flies around them. But THIS - well this was at my feet, guts spread, neck bone showing visably minus the skull. Fighting the urge to vomit, i ran to my car and called my boss. I was practically in tears, begging like a child for her to not make me clean it up. I honestly would have quit my job if she made me go anywhere near it. NO lie. I have three jobs, so if I have to lose one because of squirrel mess, I will. She said that she would come by and get it, but for me to go ahead and check the facility. Still hysterical, I explained that I would have to jump over the carcass to get into the pool. NOT AN OPTION! So she sent me home and said she would take care of everything. She also said that it was quite possibly the work of two teenage boys she had kicked out of the facility the day before.

I was feeling slightly guilty about my girliness/wimpiness until I spoke to my Ron about it. He said that it was quite likely that the squirrel head was IN the pool - that is, after all, the way teenage boys work. So now Im quite happy that I through my helpless-little-girl fit and went home instead of completing the job I was hired to do. Hey, dealing with animals is nowhere in my contract and my resume allows for me to get an aquatics job ANYWHERE I WANT, bitches! So they can clean it up or I walk. How do you like them apples?

fucking squirrels. Fucking teenage boys. Kharma is mean, my friends. That's all