Im an Orphan, apparently

I am so angry with my whole family right now, I could spit. PAH! See, they don't want to have anything to do with my life. Case in point: footloose. Everyone who has ever met me came to support me because that show was my heart and soul and life for six months. My parents couldnt have cared less. They don't know anything about it. They don't want to know. They don't know about anything in my life, really, because I didn't talk to them while I was at school. I'd send an email once a week and there were occassional phone calls, but it is really astonishing how little they know or care about me. So yes I came home with much repressed anger. I don't feel that I should be in this house because no one wants me here and I certainly don't want to be here. But today I found out something heartbreaking. My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital in the last two months and he has now moved permanently into a nursing home. He is basically unaware of everything going on around him and he doesn't have long to live. He is dying. My beloved grandfather is dying and NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME! Today was the first I heard about any of it. Blame it on me if you want. Everyone can say it's my fault for not being "involved" in my family but they aren't involved with me either. All of that is fine. But when someone is DYING, you tell the people who care about them. No matter what the circumstances. Even if I hadn't spoken to my family in ten years, someone should have called to tell me he was dying. And my whole family is going to MA next week to visit but I can't go. I have to work, but in truth I was never really invited on the family vacation. They all assumed I wouldn't go. But what if he dies without me seeing him again? Everyone in my family prolly thinks that I just don't care. They all say that I am selfish and mean and uncaring. Even if I am all those things, I still have feelings and I still love my grampy! Why didn't anyone tell me? Why am I that unimportant to everyone in my family? It was bad when they didn't come see Footloose, but this is fucking UNBELIEVABLE.

Please pray for him and my grandmother. I want them both to have some peace, however that may come about. And while you're at it, pray that I may find some peace of my own within my family